StuPidiTy

HOW DARE YOU!

I'm so pissed. Because of what you did?.. or because of what I let you do to me? They say it's love! and I say it's plain stupidity! A lot of people are asking me and telling me to leave your damn butt behind but still i refuse for I, my stupid self thought we had something special and all the fuss is only one of the obstacles we should get through!! I believed you. I believe whatever you said to me. Even the impossible. I blinded my mind to whatever considerations there might been for all the impossible things you might have said!.. Coz' believed in you!

I've been tired with all yuour childishness but i never grew tired of the love i feel for you!.. You're so easy to love but too hard to love continously.. You've shown a lot of care but you never knew how to take care of it. You've invested a lot of love but you never knew how to grow it! You're always asking for something in return to whatever you give. And you're overflowing with pride that you never even thought of drying it up for me.

have you ever thought how our life could be if you and I would make in the future?

I have.

I think you'll just be controlling my life. Disapproving of whenever our opinions opposed. Did you think i would ever be happy when you are disapproving of what my relatives think of me? Of whatever they raised me to be.

You said you suffer for seing me suffer but do really understand the pain i feel?.. You pretend to know everything but in fact you don't know anything. You're always telling me I'm noisy and being childish. For being so loud at times. But in fact that's me...

It's sad for my part that you don't realize simple things about me is what i really are is infact the same things you don't like about me.

And i knew it all along but I didn;t do anything for I am inlove.

Now i realize how stupid I am.

So stupid that after all this realizations,...

I know that there's a part of me that believes in you.

I trusted you.

More than i ever trusted anyone in my whole life. To the extent that I closed my mind to every possibilities that you may do to hurt me.

Whining about you?.. I should be ANGRY!!!!

It hurts. It really hurts. All the pain. All the anxiety. To the extent that I can't think or feel anymore.

You killed me. Yes. My heart's still beating a thousand times per day. But what's the point?. It hurts so badly that I only live for me to grow. that from this very seat I would like to vanish to the clouds or to the skies where the stars lies......