I am weak. Im weaker than I thought. I pretend to be strong yet I'm weak as Ive ever known. It seems funny coz I dont know how its gonna be. How would I be able to stand up and face this world? It's funny how I said I hate you so much, never did I thought this hate would mean I still love you so. This pain I've felt, this loneliness I've met all of this are because of you still Im too weak to admit the truth.
You might find me crazy after leaving you. But what I've said is true. There's no more coming back. No more scond chance. It's true but what's with all the lies? What's with all your regrets? We are now in separate paths but why do you have to hurt me still?..
Maybe its just me. You having another one. Completely forgotten all about me like nothing had just happened. I feel pain when i think how'd you smile, howd you laugh, howd you cry. But it hurts more to onow that those were once mine but now its all for your new one. You mustve really like her for if not you wouldnt trouble yourself. And we wouldnt have ended this way. Just admit youve fallen for her. Why still lie? Why still make me believe? Why do all these trouble?.. Are you avenging your defeat?.. Are you rally the victim?.. What Ive said are just words. Its upto you if youd explain and you r reason you wont coz i wont let to. if you really like you would.
Im bitter so I admit. Hope this feeling would just fade away.
I might wish you happiness. And more love.
Hope something like this wouldnt happen again.
Please be safe. but please dont see me again.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
StuPidiTy
HOW DARE YOU!
I'm so pissed. Because of what you did?.. or because of what I let you do to me? They say it's love! and I say it's plain stupidity! A lot of people are asking me and telling me to leave your damn butt behind but still i refuse for I, my stupid self thought we had something special and all the fuss is only one of the obstacles we should get through!! I believed you. I believe whatever you said to me. Even the impossible. I blinded my mind to whatever considerations there might been for all the impossible things you might have said!.. Coz' believed in you!
I've been tired with all yuour childishness but i never grew tired of the love i feel for you!.. You're so easy to love but too hard to love continously.. You've shown a lot of care but you never knew how to take care of it. You've invested a lot of love but you never knew how to grow it! You're always asking for something in return to whatever you give. And you're overflowing with pride that you never even thought of drying it up for me.
have you ever thought how our life could be if you and I would make in the future?
I have.
I think you'll just be controlling my life. Disapproving of whenever our opinions opposed. Did you think i would ever be happy when you are disapproving of what my relatives think of me? Of whatever they raised me to be.
You said you suffer for seing me suffer but do really understand the pain i feel?.. You pretend to know everything but in fact you don't know anything. You're always telling me I'm noisy and being childish. For being so loud at times. But in fact that's me...
It's sad for my part that you don't realize simple things about me is what i really are is infact the same things you don't like about me.
And i knew it all along but I didn;t do anything for I am inlove.
Now i realize how stupid I am.
So stupid that after all this realizations,...
I know that there's a part of me that believes in you.
I trusted you.
More than i ever trusted anyone in my whole life. To the extent that I closed my mind to every possibilities that you may do to hurt me.
Whining about you?.. I should be ANGRY!!!!
It hurts. It really hurts. All the pain. All the anxiety. To the extent that I can't think or feel anymore.
You killed me. Yes. My heart's still beating a thousand times per day. But what's the point?. It hurts so badly that I only live for me to grow. that from this very seat I would like to vanish to the clouds or to the skies where the stars lies......
I'm so pissed. Because of what you did?.. or because of what I let you do to me? They say it's love! and I say it's plain stupidity! A lot of people are asking me and telling me to leave your damn butt behind but still i refuse for I, my stupid self thought we had something special and all the fuss is only one of the obstacles we should get through!! I believed you. I believe whatever you said to me. Even the impossible. I blinded my mind to whatever considerations there might been for all the impossible things you might have said!.. Coz' believed in you!
I've been tired with all yuour childishness but i never grew tired of the love i feel for you!.. You're so easy to love but too hard to love continously.. You've shown a lot of care but you never knew how to take care of it. You've invested a lot of love but you never knew how to grow it! You're always asking for something in return to whatever you give. And you're overflowing with pride that you never even thought of drying it up for me.
have you ever thought how our life could be if you and I would make in the future?
I have.
I think you'll just be controlling my life. Disapproving of whenever our opinions opposed. Did you think i would ever be happy when you are disapproving of what my relatives think of me? Of whatever they raised me to be.
You said you suffer for seing me suffer but do really understand the pain i feel?.. You pretend to know everything but in fact you don't know anything. You're always telling me I'm noisy and being childish. For being so loud at times. But in fact that's me...
It's sad for my part that you don't realize simple things about me is what i really are is infact the same things you don't like about me.
And i knew it all along but I didn;t do anything for I am inlove.
Now i realize how stupid I am.
So stupid that after all this realizations,...
I know that there's a part of me that believes in you.
I trusted you.
More than i ever trusted anyone in my whole life. To the extent that I closed my mind to every possibilities that you may do to hurt me.
Whining about you?.. I should be ANGRY!!!!
It hurts. It really hurts. All the pain. All the anxiety. To the extent that I can't think or feel anymore.
You killed me. Yes. My heart's still beating a thousand times per day. But what's the point?. It hurts so badly that I only live for me to grow. that from this very seat I would like to vanish to the clouds or to the skies where the stars lies......
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
"APATHY"
NUMB..
Maybe something that's been on my mind lately.
Can you imagine not feeling the pain?
I wish I could fly up in the sky and hide in those thick cottony clouds. For maybe even for just once i could be free from my endless thoughts. I could be able to not to worry about the people i've hurt or already been hurt. For all my wrong doings.
I really want to be numb. So i wouldn't be able to expect much. So i wouldn't be able to feel disappointments.. Not to feel being rejected. I want to feel numb so i would have a reason not to think about the feelings of others that coul've ' been hurt or been hurt by me. I would like to feel numb so i could have a reason not to think about what he has on his mind. To have a reason for him not to be angry.
Apathetic you say?
Selfish am i?
Unreasonable correct?
The throbbing pain i feel. That cuts deep within my heart. With his every word the cut is deepened.
I just couldn't find reason, the enough reason for all my doings.
Apathy is what i've felt.
I really don't know.
........................................................................................
Maybe something that's been on my mind lately.
Can you imagine not feeling the pain?
I wish I could fly up in the sky and hide in those thick cottony clouds. For maybe even for just once i could be free from my endless thoughts. I could be able to not to worry about the people i've hurt or already been hurt. For all my wrong doings.
I really want to be numb. So i wouldn't be able to expect much. So i wouldn't be able to feel disappointments.. Not to feel being rejected. I want to feel numb so i would have a reason not to think about the feelings of others that coul've ' been hurt or been hurt by me. I would like to feel numb so i could have a reason not to think about what he has on his mind. To have a reason for him not to be angry.
Apathetic you say?
Selfish am i?
Unreasonable correct?
The throbbing pain i feel. That cuts deep within my heart. With his every word the cut is deepened.
I just couldn't find reason, the enough reason for all my doings.
Apathy is what i've felt.
I really don't know.
........................................................................................
Friday, June 22, 2007
The Start for a Better View..
I believe people has their own way of recollecting the past or reorganizing what may lies ahead of them. But what can someone say if life has it's own way of making you follow? How would you cope with a life that has nothing with the way you thought it could or maybe,... it SHOULD be.. Would you dream a better life? Or would you be contented with what it has brought you?
Makes me think a little more confused. A little more shaked. Is this the life I'm heading, for the rest of my life? Would I be contented with what I have even though there is something inside that shouts it isn't enough? Would I be eager to continue the path I've taken that I've walked for so long? Or maybe I should let myself take the risk of turning back in a place where I dont know where would end?
Life has full of quetions. Either you answer it to yourself and believe what you want to believe or let your heart answer it with uncertainty of what could happen next? Giving up something I've worked hard for. Giving up something that I pushed myself so hard to pursue. Giving up someone that has been a companion and would never be the same to others but me alone. Giving up someone that I can never find that can accept the way I am like that someone can do. Would I find the missing piece that I can't find in myself just by taking a risk of finding it? Would I see the importance of losing these things in finding this missing piece? What could I possibly do? And to whom would I do this for?
Makes me think a little more confused. A little more shaked. Is this the life I'm heading, for the rest of my life? Would I be contented with what I have even though there is something inside that shouts it isn't enough? Would I be eager to continue the path I've taken that I've walked for so long? Or maybe I should let myself take the risk of turning back in a place where I dont know where would end?
Life has full of quetions. Either you answer it to yourself and believe what you want to believe or let your heart answer it with uncertainty of what could happen next? Giving up something I've worked hard for. Giving up something that I pushed myself so hard to pursue. Giving up someone that has been a companion and would never be the same to others but me alone. Giving up someone that I can never find that can accept the way I am like that someone can do. Would I find the missing piece that I can't find in myself just by taking a risk of finding it? Would I see the importance of losing these things in finding this missing piece? What could I possibly do? And to whom would I do this for?
Friday, June 15, 2007
One step Closer..
Summer is over. Pasukan nanaman.. I can say that i really had a long summer.. There was a time when i thought na this would be the end of my wesleyan days. Malakas parin ako kay Lord. Coz, he wont allow such things. Thankful na ko na ganun.. hhmmm.. As I look back, I see the path I've been through. Hindi alam ng lahat pero kung nasan man ako ngayon, pinaghirapan ko to. actually lahat naman kami di ba?.. pero i know i did verything i can. there are times na kamuntikan na ko mag-give up pero with the help of my friends and loved ones , I've Made it!!!
Wherever the flow of destiny may lead me, I'll do my best and won't give up!. hehehehe... ang layo na nang narating ko, ngayon pa ba ako aatras?.. ang laki na ng pinaghirapan ko ngayon pa ba ko susuko?.. i dont think so.
God Bless me..
Wherever the flow of destiny may lead me, I'll do my best and won't give up!. hehehehe... ang layo na nang narating ko, ngayon pa ba ako aatras?.. ang laki na ng pinaghirapan ko ngayon pa ba ko susuko?.. i dont think so.
God Bless me..
Thursday, March 1, 2007
| Slow and Steady |
 Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. |
what should you major in?
table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2>Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking 
How Rare is your Personality!
| Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP) |
 Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all menYou are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
Friday, February 23, 2007
NEW BLOGGER
hehehehe.. sa wakas nabuksan ulit kita.. pano ba naman tagal ko na kaya bago ko nabuksan to!.,.. hmm.. nakakamiss ang magsulat.. diaries.. i love them.. i love writing.. pero pano nga ba kung may nakakabasa,.. nawawala yung essence ng diary.. dapat magstart man ulit ako walang makaka-alam..:-) like to keep everything personal nalang.. parang ganun.. hahaha.. well what can i say..
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