chaotic

as she reached the top of the hill, she felt the wind breeze welcoming her.. she breathes and smelled the aroma of the dew of the grass.. and then she lie down and from there she watched and counted the stars before her..

as always it was her comfort zone.. where no one can ever judge her.. when she can be whatever she wanted to be.. she built her dreams there and hoped that someday it will come true..

a tear fell down her cheeks.. she remembered why she was there.. of course to forget.. somehow she thought with the peaceful ambiance of that place would melt whats inside of her..

as she looked unto the stars.. like saying "hey im just here" tears pour continously in her eyes.. the echo of her crying was heard on that hill.. she shouted as loud as she could.. hoping she could shout them away..

its burning.. and it feels like bursting and exploding into pieces..

crying and asking.. 'what have i done?'
careless decisions, muddled thoughts,

time...

care..

love..




she shouted..

but she knew it will never go away.. no matter how loud, how ear-breaking her roar is..
how peaceful, and beautiful the place is..

it can never take away the pain she's feeling..

and its tearing her apart..

her life was devastated.. she knew she can never live without him..

he was her life..


damn..

a complete misunderstanding broke what once was whole..

separated what once where one..

and ended it with bitter tears..

and an angry heart...


looking back..

it could have worked out..

she stared at the stars..

shining so brightly.. twinkling...


then came the drizzle..
she felt..

all she have now was her dreams..

but how could it be true..

when it was already gone..:-(